she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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