In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
