The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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