What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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