Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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