Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
