she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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