Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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