I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
