The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
