no, he came in my armpit
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
