OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
