is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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