with your own penis?
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
