Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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