i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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