sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
