Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just pee around me
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
