return my video game
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
