Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
