Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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