Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
