I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
