he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize