I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
