so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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