LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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