can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
