I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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