You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
