That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
