I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
There are leaves in my underwear?
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