I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
