Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
