He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
