so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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