Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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