Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
