Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
