the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you had me at cake vodka
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
