sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
