if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
