i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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