this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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