Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
