I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
