How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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