Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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