If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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