when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
