I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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