Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
