what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
