You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
