Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
