I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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