Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
